What I Want To Be?

I am constantly wondering where am I going in my life. Do I move to London permanently? Start settling down, seriously think about getting married and saving for a house? Or do I continue blogging, travelling, whilst writing my experiences and sharing my insight? Do I pursue my dream in fashion design? Start off small? Build my brand, refine my skill and work towards being my own boss? So many aspects to consider…

I’m currently interning at a luxury bespoke uniforms company based in Shoreditch, called Studio 104. I am genuinely being challenged, learning new things I never experienced during my university course whilst having the opportunity to open my  eyes to new processes and possibilities. Jane Porter, the managing director of Studio 104 was kind enough to allow me to join their company for three months to further my capabilities.

Having the opportunity to work so closely with Jane is an incredible experience. She is a young, driven and very successful business woman with so much experience and knowledge under her belt. I have learnt so much about how to run and manage your own business from her in such a short amount of time. I have always dreamt of being successful but she makes me dream big.

Today whilst at work I got asked ‘So Rianne, what is it that you want to be?’ And although my answer was ‘I want to be a fashion designer’ the truth is, I don’t know exactly what it is that I want to be. But I know I want to be so much more than that. Yes, I want to be a fashion designer but I want to continue to improve my photography skills. I want to be improve my illustrative style. I want to be a great a daughter, sibling, cousin, friend, girlfriend and in the very far future a fantastic mother and wife.

I think the industry finds it hard to comprehend what it is I want to be because if I am honest I just want to be the best I can be. Writer, fashion designer, illustrator, blogger. Call it what you want. I don’t feel like I need to categorise what I am or what I want to be.

For a very long time I viewed my excitement to try everything and the excessive need to be good it as a downfall. Honestly today I saw it differently. I always described myself as the saying ‘a jack of all trades but a master in none’. But today I realised I do want to be a jack of all of those trades, every single one. I want to experience them all and I will find a way to master them. I don’t show a lot of people my designs, blog, ideas or techniques because often enough people take ‘inspiration’ from them and end up copying styles, techniques or concepts for their own pursuits, but I have every intention to show you guys what I am capable of in due course.

So to answer the question that I previously got asked today…’What do you want to be?’….well, I want to be Rianne. I want to be the strong minded, determined young adult my mother raised me to be and I want to be that creative individual that was clearly the gift my father blessed me with, along with life of course!

 I want to be the best fashion designer I can be, with highly developed skills in CAD and fashion illustration capabilities. I want to be someone that another intern will look up to and be inspired by.

Whether the industry understands it or not. I finally understand.

I will be me. Watch this space.

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